Mom Doesn't Need to Be Cool

This pic is for the new greeting card with the babies. I love these new photo products you can get, like photo books, cards, calendars, etc.

The babies are getting more expressive. More smiles! Still too few, though. I want more smiles, and I can't wait for the laughter to begin.

I'm still eating very little dairy, but I am allowed a little and one coffee per day. I was really feeling terrible for a while there, not sure why, but diet was part of it. I can't have gluten, and so adding dairy and caffeine was too much. Especially since we don't get to the grocery store as often as we need to and the choices in house are often quite minimal.

I'm also doing what I can to keep my "ladies" healthy. Making milk for two takes quite a toll and I am often sore, they are also hot and look bruised a lot. And big and heavy! I feel I'll never jump or dance again. I'm basically fighting off mastitis continually. I express after pumping and try to use heating pads and baths when I have time.  Ouch! They just feel like NOT part of my body, or not a part I want. It's depressing, sometimes. But nothing replaces the feeling of breastfeeding. When their little faces look up and suck suck, big eyes, connection. Worth it.

I'm trying SPUD, an online grocer that sells all the healthy organic stuff. Why don't all grocery stores deliver? The first delivery is Friday.

The babies are getting lots of visitors! My students (4 of them) came on Sunday, and Julie (also an ILAC teacher) came on Thursday. We've also had Tanya and BJ from my Courtenay days, Kelly, and many more.

The main thing happening here, other than the day to day grind of feeding, pumping, diaper changes, burping, cleaning (mostly other people doing that), trying to sleep, the main thing happening is that I am constantly in love with these darlings. Just in love in a very deep way. It's impossible to describe other than to say that I look into a little face and promise to love him/her and to do everything in my power to create a happy life for him/her. They will never know about these monologues. I tell them also how much I love them, how adorable they are, the cutest cutest cutest.

They are truly the best drug in the world. They make everything make sense. I'm pretty OK with being a cliche at the moment. Corny is fine with me. I'd rather be here than be cool and ironic and unhappy. Coolness is for people who need it, and I don't.

I mean look at this!